Portal 2: A Review
Portal 2 is, without a doubt, one of the best games I’ve ever played. The sequel to the game that sprouted the phrase “The cake is a lie,” Portal 2 has everything: Humorous dialogue, mind-wrenching puzzles, unique game mechanics, and a deep, twisty, complex, downright amazing story. Of course, I’m going to have to go into more detail to reach my word limit. Although, let me just be honest: just play the game, and you will understand why this game is to be praised in the way I praise it. [ALSO MINOR SPOILERS SO WATCH OUT THE REASON I’M USING CAPS-LOCK IS SO YOU NOTICE THIS SO DON’T BLAME ME IF I SPOIL IT FOR YOU YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED]
Ok, spoiler time. Everyone dies. The end. All jokes aside, the story is amazing, and if you truly want to learn the whole story, look it up on YouTube or something. The story consists of you journeying around Aperture Science Laboratories and following a little robot named Wheatley’s commands. You move through different rooms, as GLaDOS (Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System. Is it sad that I know that off the top of my head?) surveys you, and comments on you. There’s so much to love in just GLaDOS talking, because of the humor in her scripts. One of the best jokes in the game is near the beginning, where you’re just flying through puzzles, and GLaDOS notes your speed, and compliments you on it, only to then give you a puzzle that is unavoidably long. She is then disappointed at you slowing of pace. Beautiful.
OH NO!!! In my babbling about the story, I almost forgot one of the biggest things! The game mechanics. They’re quite simple, really. You shoot a portal on a white tile, then another on another tile, and you can walk through them. Simple. But there are also gels, that do certain things. Blue gel bounces you, orange gel speeds you up, and white gel is like the white tiles, but gel.
And that’s about it. I highly recommend you play Portal 2, but remember! There IS light profanity. Otherwise, it’s an outstanding game, and nobody who’s played it disliked it!
Colin Johnson is a writer who always wants to interview people. He always writes funny articles and works on the Opioninist. Be sure to say hello to him...