An Interview with Mysterious Green Bois


For decades, mysterious creatures have been watching the students of Canyon Vista. With their soulless, black eyes, they survey and judge anyone who passes them. Canyon Echoes got to talk exclusively with one of their kind.

The gracious young Green Boi we talked to, it turned out, was wise beyond his years.

Everything was going just fine until he tried to impale me!

OB: How did you get to work here at Canyon Vista?

GB: I heard this place was a good place for a Green Boi to hang out. Lots o’ opportunities here. Especially because I’m interested in Pseudo- Psychological Encapsulment. All the students at this school have that class, so I’m very excited. It’s not everywhere you see classes being taught about that subject.

OB: Um… Pseudo- Psychological Encapsulemnt? Aren’t it’s initials PE?

GB: Yes…

OB: I think you’re getting excited over Physical Education class.

OB: Why does your shirt say “Slow Down”?

GB: It’s the name of my Experimental Chiptune Rock Heavy Emo Dark Poison Rap-Reggae Techno Dubstep Viking Rock Electro-Rewind Static Noise Metal Band.

OB: Sounds……. different.

GB: You wouldn’t understand. You’re a layman. A normie.

OB: What do you enjoy about reminding people to slow down?

GB: Poking children with my flag.

OB: What do dislike about your job?

GB: I don’t get any respect. People never listen to my warning. But wait till I tell them….


There once was a young child. Sammy. Sammy was a rambunctious lad, always carrying a spoon around in case he found a bowl of soup on the ground.. Young and voracious. But he had one fateful flaw. He would throw his spoon at a green boi. Then the Boi would seethe with anger, fuming with rage… BUT HE COULD NOT MOVE. He was locked, forever in the same place. So one day, he fell on the child. Sammy struggled to get up under the tremendous weight of the green plastic man. The Green Boi smiled a horrible grin. Sammy struggled, clutching the spoon in both hands, scraping the green coat of plastic. The Green Boi screamed in pain from the pain, and Sammy kicked off the beast from his body. He ran as far away as far as his stubby legs could take him, never forgetting the horrible grin of The Green Boi. 

From then on, Sammy kept his spoon with him at all time, in case A GREEN BOI ATTACKED!

OB: Hey… The very same thing happened to me when I was a kid.

GB: Did you like Silly Bandz?

OB: Yes… as a matter of fact I did…


OB: (Takes out the spoon from his pocket) (Scraping Noises, Intense yelling)

Following this incident, The Green Boi has stayed there ever since. Except this time, it has a single red stain at the tip of its flag.

Because a kid spilled ketchup on it.