Failures Of The Human Race: Movies

Movies Are Pretty Much Dead Now.

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Failures Of The Human Race: Movies

Andrew Watson, Reporter

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IN A WORLD… WHERE NO ONE KNOWS WHAT QUALITY MOVIES ARE…

…Is actually exactly like our world. (WHICH IS SAD.) In today’s generation, I am unlucky enough to exist in a world where no one understands the word QUALITY. Unfortunately, we are in a severe DROUGHT of good movies. Movies nowadays are just 45-year-old men trying to imagine what today millennials act like, not to mention jumping on the TREND BANDWAGON. So, you just have a bunch of 45-year-old men, sitting in a recording studio, screaming DABFIDGETSPINNERSSLIMEDABDABDABWHEREDIDMYLIFEGOSOWRONG. I legitimately feel sorry for those actors. It’s just no hard to believe that in the HORRENDOUS film, THE EMOJI MOVIE, there was no one who said, “Um, I don’t think this is a good idea… people don’t even use emojis anymore. Only old people and little kids, so maybe you could make a movie about something ASIDE from emojis for once? PLEASE!?

I’ll give Disney, Pixar, and Dreamworks, some credit, you haven’t died out YET… (and this doesn’t really have anything to do with what I’m saying, but COULD YOU MAKE A MOVIE BY YOURSELVES!?) Thing is, they ARE dying, just slowly. But they don’t let that stop them. However… other companies react… differently. When their ratings dip below 75%, they flip. They think “Man, Van Gogh cut off his ear for the woman he loved. I wonder what I could cut off? I KNOW! How about that last shred of dignity? And then they do. That’s how monstrosities like The Emoji Movie exist. Through some man cutting his dignity to shreds by even thinking, movies with trends in them are good. Spoiler: THEY ARE NOT. Movies take a long time to create. Most likely, by the time it comes out, the trend is most likely dead and gone. And most people with half a brain thinks, “Man, this is horrible!” EVEN IF they get the movie out in time, eventually the trend will die off, and when people see it again, they will realize its true CRINGE.

Not to mention SEQUELS. Those are where some really bad movies sprung out from good ones. It’s actually quite sad that this happens… good movies like Alien tainted by Alien3 and Alien:┬áResurrection. The thing is, I actually LIKED Alien! And the surprising thing was, the first sequel, Aliens, was actually GOOD! WHERE DID YOU GO SO WRONG!? If you can make a good sequel, can’t you make more GOOD sequels? It’s really not hard! Certain movies would be perfectly FINE if you didn’t make bad sequels of them! But some movies were bad from the start. A LOT of movies… like Hotel Transylvania and Transformers. Eeesh.

But, all in itself, it’s really hard to make any movies, so I’ll shut up. I think there could have been more thought in the process of how the movies aren’t exactly works of art, but that’s just me. Movie quality is going down, and it’s up to US to fix that.