Eulogy to Mother Goose (POEM)
What happens when Mother Goose changes her ways?
Nursery rhymes were not in style
They were not able to make kids smile
When hearing of these childish rhymes
The kids all say “Now is NOT the time”
All the teens act dark and gruff
And call all rhymes baby stuff
So, in front of the crashing waves of the ocean,
Mother Goose, an icon of said rhymes, put her plan in motion.
At midnight on that day in June
Mother goose swore by the ethereal light of the moon
A resolution to become a better, to reinstate her place,
She said as the moonbeams glazed her face:
“I shall prove to them that I am cool!”
But alas, what a sorry fool,
Despite her efforts to reinvent,
you wouldn’t be surprised how bad it went.
At first, she joined a metal band
Singing sludgy screamo,
But all the kids found her as hip as wet sand
Then she eyed the trendy ways
Talked very fast, like Billy Mays
Dabbing, Flossing, Lit Spinners galore
But these trends didn’t leave them
wanting more
So an actor she decided to be, a modern movie starlet, you see
With a starring role in Hollywood, destined to be in movies designed for you and me
Or maybe even she could be
On the small screen on TV
Perhaps with a catchphrase to catch the viewer’s eye, like a snappy “Hey-Oh!”
But, dear god, her audition was about as good as expired mayo.
Alas, but being the optimist she was, our hero ventured on, and learned how to write
Did it work out? Well…. Not quite.
She focused sights on creating her masterpiece: “Remembering: The tragic fall of Humpty” a depressing memorial for the dead
And still, the critics sneered upon it with dread.
Then she decided to be a rapper
Decked out in bling so dapper
She found her calling dropping rhymes like before
But this time she added a little more
Like sick beats and gangsta slang
Ready to show off her skills with a BANG
And there she vented her sullen rage,
From the comforts of the stage
And in this world of hate and danger
We can all take a lesson from our dear Goosey stranger.
So I guess it goes to show, despite how it might seem strange
There is nothing better than positive change.
Oliver is a Canyon Echoes veteran who currently works as Entertainment Editor, and he also directs and stars in The Opinionist, Canyon Echoes 1st video...