A List Of Quotes from Newsmedia’s Most… Interesting Reporter, Evlabia


Here at Newsmedia, we have quite the crew of wacky outcasts and hard workers. One very… interesting reporter in our ranks is Evlabia Konstantinou. Her (few) articles may seem normal, but in the studio, she has another side… Here’s some of her quotes so you’ll see what I mean. (Note: I got permission from Evlabia herself before I published this, don’t worry.)


“Stop eating my computers.” – Mrs. Sharpe

“I wanna write an article about horrific Halloween deaths.” (She actually did, but it was turned down)

“Fake Takis for the win.”

“That’s a lotta kids.”

“Look at the odd facial structure of this gorilla!”

“Gorillas suck at playing piano!”

“That’s a long nose.”

“Rabbits have the cutest butts.”

“That chameleon has too much eye shadow.”

“Look at me, I’m a ballerina!”

“That’s a lot of weight for one ogre.”

“Shrek has chewy ears.”

“Wow, that little girl can yodel.”

“That guy got them eyebrows.”

“That kid got dancing.”

“That was a voice crack, young lady. That’s puberty for you.”

“That dress has too many sequins!”

“That’s like not even clothing!”

“I need help with baby faces.” – June

“Woah, that book is thick.”

“Waffle keyboards?”

“I did not get eaten by a bear.” – Hadley

“You can’t just tell me to say dumb things, I just naturally do it!”

“Billie Eilish is a soup or kombucha.”

“Don’t you wear UNDERWEAR?”

“Well don’t you?”

“No I won’t! Why? WHY!?” -Joaquin

“They have to be from the SOUL!”

See what I mean? Evlabia is one wacky person, but let’s be honest, aren’t we all? She just happens to spit out whatever comes to her head instead of keeping it in.